• Frank Villasana

Lens Meat

There comes a time in every woman’s life when they lose sight of their inner goddess. Their sensuality. Their confidence. It often happens slowly, over time, like water chipping away at the sandstone, shaping it into something softer, less stark, more….subtle. And it’s so gradual we don’t even notice it. Oh yes, this can happen at 50, or 15. For me, it happened in my mid-thirties. One layer over another, until there was a figure less brilliant, less vibrant, less vital, and less sensual that stared back at me in the mirror each morning.

“Do something for yourself.”

“Embrace your beauty. Let yourself shine.”

“The shrinking violet does not become a woman like you.”

“You are magnificent. Never forget it.”

I found myself with a task from My Self to get back to the undomesticated, powerful, feminine beauty I knew decades ago. And I decided, it was time to act on that by pictorially documenting my beauty. The challenge was, I didn’t really feel the beauty, so I wanted someone that I could trust to see that in me, and capture it in a classy, sensual, unique way. I found him at Nequim.

There are a few things that happen when you get in front of that camera lens. Ok. Several. You get excited. You lose your nerve. You find yourself. Breathe. You learn to breathe. You embrace a rawness that becomes the strength, the foundation of your journey to finding that inner goddess. There is a power that you find, that burns. And in front of the lens, it becomes the drive that gives birth to one of the most empowering experiences you will ever have in recreating yourself.

Seeing yourself in the images afterwards changes something inside you. I promise. Thoughts like “Wow, that’s really me” or “I can’t believe I can look like that” creep in. Perhaps you will smile a few days later, thinking about your partner’s reaction to the photos. Or, you will chuckle because you finally realize you ARE beautiful.

Ladies, let me tell you, it’s not about being thin, being young, or being flawless. It’s about being real, and being you. I learned a great deal that day in my first shoot. First of all, I learned to let myself shine. I had limited time in front of the lens. I needed to make the most of it! Then, I learned that a good photographer will be able to find the right pose. Turn this way, bring your chin up, arch your back some more. I am no model, so the coaching was much needed and in the end, completely appreciated. And finally, I found that some of the best shots came when I was simply being me, and inside my head rather than paying attention to the camera. Now those…those are still my favorites. And finally, I gradually changed my perspective on my beauty. I owned it more, wielded it with grace and confidence, and found it simply irresistible to deny going back to my old mindsets. I was out of the gates and running the course. It was definitely the start of a whole new journey for me.

And if you are reading this and thinking “I don’t need to recreate myself,” then I applaud you. I won’t say that boudoir photography is NOT for you, however, you may do it for different reasons. But now that I work for the studio that helped me with the “love affair with myself” I hear so many women tell me the laundry list of excuses. “ If only I were thinner, more fit, younger, more sexy, had the right clothes, the best make up, knew how to style my hair, an appreciative partner, a partner period, a better set of legs, bigger boobs, a nicer back side, one less tattoo, one more tattoo, no tattoos….the list is endless, and ridiculous. I have answers for all of those excuses! Do it for YOU. For that sensual, slightly naughty, totally empowered goddess that is begging you to take off her shackles and let her be free!